Vacation was pretty picture perfect. And on the day after I wrote my last post, I saw this in my Facebook news feed. Even on Fakebook, a message will come exactly when it is needed. And I needed a major reminder before I entered full breakdown crying in the floor mode, which I tend to do. Mainly I reserve my sobbing fits for a bath.
My bath was a much needed baptismal in the Atlantic. There I found strength and happiness. I actually was able to witness true joy. Nothing will compare to the memory I have of my son and the first time he saw the ocean. He questioned the vastness. He looked at us for security and once he knew he was safe, he charged into the surf screaming with zeal. He was, in usual fashion, fearless. There is no greater joy I can hold in my heart than replaying his high pitched shrieks which only exuded the excitement. If he had his words, his screams and shrieks would have been translated into “THIS IS THE BEST DAY I HAVE EVER HAD!” But only his delightful screams and his eyes could say these words.
He has my eyes. Eyes which can’t hide emotion. All emotions are displayed on our faces for the world. It’s a funny thing because until you have a child, you are never able to witness certain features about yourself. On this vacation, I saw my own happiness reflected in my son’s eyes.
It is easy to say children are blessings. Because they are the closest we can come to seeing the last bit of heaven before they conform to the world. That within itself is a blessing. The blessing doesn’t end here. Watching a human see the ocean for the first time is a blessing. And in my last post, I regretfully wrote that he probably wouldn’t remember this trip anyways. I let the stress of a preparation, and worry, and the doubt override a great blessing.
Our last day as we sat on the beach, I looked into those happy eyes and asked him “to please remember these days. These are special days.” Throughout his enthusiasm, he was overwhelmed by the greatest play place he had ever seen, he cuddled with me. Our cuddles are always brief because he is a great explorer. But on the last Friday, on the eve before we would have another early wake up and be stuck in the car for another 9 to 10 hours, he cuddled with me. We didn’t have a care in this moment. We were blessed. May all travelers have these moments, may every family and loved ones find at the end of their journeys the magnificent love, may you always find the true meaning in “blessed be.”