As mommy bloggers, we have that post. The one about how our babies changed our lives. As I am about to finish my second year as a Mama, my change both inside and outside can’t be ignored. I grew the sweetest and orneriest little boy inside my tummy. I popped out a living, breathing, and healthy boy (THANK YOU, SWEET JESUS.) The other day I showed him a picture of the preggo me, a true Mama whale.
I pointed at the tummy and told him “there you are. You came through my head and got into my tummy. I picked you as my baby and I hope you picked me as your Mama. You are my most favorite. I wouldn’t want any other baby.” When I became Mama, I became happy.
Becoming a Mama changed me in a lot of other ways. Many people haven’t noticed or witnessed the change. Many people neglected to tell me these changes would occur, but they happened nonetheless.
1) My nose got bigger. I am not joking, my nose grew. I have to be careful about camera angles since having my child. And to my husband, Google says it happens in pregnancy because blood vessels swell in your nose. So there, I am not making this up. You get pregnant and your nose gets bigger. This phenomenon may not happen to every woman. If you are pregnant, take a big deep breath. You have bigger worries like a baby coming through your vagina. You may get lucky and your nose will stay cute and petite. I wasn’t so lucky and am noticing a Hocus Pocus witch nose forming.
2) Mom Dancing. Ms. Stella has lost her groove. Who am I kidding? I never had any real groove. Since I can remember, I was always the girl in the Pentecostal Church clapping off beat. I used to be able to sway and roll my hips. If you have seen the Jimmy Fallon and Michelle Obama “Evolution of Mom Dancing,” all I got is the “Happy Snapper.” This is the only dance move in my arsenal since having my baby. My hips don’t sway anymore. As for rolling, NO FUCKING WAY. Mama will pop a hip or hurt her back. Just give me a Life Alert button if you see me at da’ club.
3) Mama can’t drink anymore. Nine months sober, and I can’t hold my liquor. I drink two rum and cokes (watered down rum and cokes,) I become shitty face drunk mom. Shit faced drunk mom is still better than binge drinking toilet huggin’ college drunk girl. Hi-Fives!
4) I became comfortable. After you grow, carry, and give birth to a human, your weight doesn’t feel so heavy. I learned to love my body. I feel lighter since I am not carrying an extra human inside me. Something major also happened to my body, I got boobies! I would have paid for these fun bags back in high school and college days, but I am glad they came naturally. All the body issues, the worry about my belly went away when I saw what having ‘birthing hips’ actually meant. I am big boned, not fat. Currently, my workout routine consists of chasing a little boy. Best workout EVER!
Yes, my son changed me. I hope he will continue to change me. I hope we will grow together and constantly learn from each other. My nose may be bigger, I may not dance like I used to, and I can’t binge drink anymore; the good outweighs the bad every time.
Now, I know y’all want to watch it too. Enjoy.