Although vacation was pretty perfect, there were set backs. Things a new first time Mom, or a forgetful first time Mom, was not equipped to handle. Things which ended in semi-mortified moments where you could feel the glances of other more prepared mothers burning holes into your soul. This is the story of Pee Pee hands.
After a delightful morning of swimming, we decided to stop at our favorite tavern for lunch.
I didn’t have the necessary change of clothes. I was clad only in my sheer swim cover up with my bathing suit underneath and flip flops. The child had on his trunks, swim diaper, and a long sleeved terry cloth cover up. We were lucky enough to pick a booth which was walled on both sides so there was some privacy. On this trip the child discovered french fries, and he was happily wolfing down his new favorite treat which we ordered as an appetizer.
Then it happened. Have you ever seen a horse pee in the street? This happened in our favorite eating spot. The swim diaper gave way and then there was a gush. The sound of a waterfall hitting a hardwood floor. My feet were covered in my child’s pee. On a side note, all readers should know that in a panic situation I am a freezer. I become paralyzed with a deer in headlights look. I state “Oh my God, he just peed all over the floor.” A person who will remain nameless in this post, throws down a wad of paper towels, wipes up the pee pee mess the best they could and continues to eat lunch with pee pee hands.
I had no hand sanitizer. I had none of those cute little Bath and Body Works hand sanitizers strapped to my purse. No back up diapers. No shred of dignity was left in me after this lunch because I know someone had to witness this incident. If for some miracle no one noticed as it happened, my face was screaming with “Oh My GOD! What do we do?!!” Eat fast, tip HUGE, I take the baby to the car, and nameless person uses every napkin on the table to wipe away our mess. The next plan of action is to get the hell out of there, not to return for the rest of our trip, and everyone proceeds to shower. To my favorite tavern, I apologize for this story. I will also allow the eating establishment to remain nameless, which is the least I can do….and I say to myself, thank you to my child for only allowing that moment to be a number one potty moment instead of a number two. Hand sanitizer is now a staple in my purse.