Tag: hurt

3… 2… 1… Reconciliation.

Three: A child, a mother, and a father are a family. The child, barely 4 years-old, can’t understand why their home is suddenly turned upside down, and shaken brutally like a snow globe. The white flakes covering each person. No one can walk comfortably or unscathed inside the bubble. Tip. Toe. Eggshell. There is sadness in their lives. It’s the…

Faithful Whiskey Nights

I used to think men who drank whiskey or bourbon on the rocks had an alluring sex appeal. Their sips long and gentle. They never showed any wincing as the burn saturated their gullets.  In my mind, they compared to Rhett Butler and other southern gentlemen who retreated after their meals to rooms where they’d smoke cigars and talk politics.…

Featured on Huffington Post Today!

The last month, two things have gotten me through each day: my son and writing. It’s never easy to face hurt from your partner, your husband, but I know I am not alone. Men and women cheat. They lie. They bring down homes. My home was no different, nor was it immune. Read more by clicking on the link below:…

When He Loves Her More Than You

When he loves her more than you… He protects her in a way he would’ve never protected you. Guards her name and shields her psyche from the pain you’re forced to feel every moment, whether you’re asleep or awake. No matter the time of day or night, you’re in excruciating pain. He won’t allow her to feel THAT pain, to…

The Breaking News

Unexpected. My body and heart has been hit by a truckload of red hard bricks. This place is quiet. Too quiet for my noisy mind. The thoughts running rapidly, repeatedly. The coffee tastes sweet yet bitter. Life is bitter and sweet. Love is bitter, and surprisingly rarely sweet. The television is on and the talking heads are assessing the constant…

I’m Not Supposed To Tell You

I’m not supposed to tell you…  Every day I am screaming on the inside. I wake up in the early dawn hours covered in sweat. My hair is drenched, matted to the back of my neck soaking wet. My pillows are damp with fever dreams and nightmares. My world is crashing in on me as I lay alone in my…

Cutting Down Pine Trees

“In the pines, in the pines Where the sun don’t ever shine I would shiver the whole night through” Nirvana “Where Did You Sleep Last Night” I’m weary from shivering. My heart aches from having to consistently walk away. I am capable of running and having my feet rip open the cracks in the concrete. Don’t follow me. Don’t track me…

The Nobody.

Maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe I’m a ‘loser’. Maybe I come from a long line of so-called ‘losers.’ Maybe I won’t amount to anything. Maybe I’m a dime a dozen and there isn’t any real talent inside of me. Maybe I’m just wasting my time. Maybe I’m lazy. Maybe I am an awful wife who stopped loving a long time…

My Mississippi Hat on Scary Mommy Today

Since beginning this website and writing publicly, there has been a part to my life I haven’t told. After awhile, I felt like it was becoming some secret. I didn’t write about it mainly because it was over. Done. Buried. And reliving those days creates a great amount of guilt and depression on my heart. I don’t want to hide…

Who I Am: Beyond the Hurt

On some days, thirteen years seem like an eternity in a marriage. Other days, the decade plus a few years can beam like the shining sun which rose too early and set too soon. The decisions I made brought me here. I am sitting under a rainbow colored quilt purchased from Target seven years ago. Today, the quilt has stains…

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