Tag: Love

Burn The Bed

I want to burn my bed. Yes, the entire white queen sized bed. All of it. Poof. Gasoline. Flames. I’d smile. I’d grin. I’d rejoice at watching THAT bed burn. Alas, I’m not strong enough to drag it downstairs. The headboard is heavy. The mattress is awkward. The box spring won’t bend. There are stairs. I certainly can’t set it…

A Thousand Little Cuts

Netflix is the only noise breaking through the silent room. The man on the Netflix original series, Mindhunter, says the words: “Marriage is a thousand little cuts.”  I speak out. I agree with him. Bloodletting love where we go into a relationship completely naive and our eyes are closed. We wear a veil for a reason, because the truth isn’t…

And She Wrote On…

She stopped writing. No rhyme. No real reason. She stopped, because it’s the one thing she could control; those words. Her legs are shaking, they tremble with unknown fear. The leaves are crunching as a junkie coughs and walks down the alley next to her house. Let. It. Go. It’s all dying away….           The dead season is…

Life’s Low Blows

 I yell at my God, “Am I not strong enough?”  A year ago, I held the world by successful dreams I’d once thought impossible. I’d opened the oyster and, thought for the first time ever, I finally plucked a pearl. I had made my dream publications. A piece I wrote had gotten picked up by every publication I’d admired. It…

Are We Not Exhausted?

Monday is the worst day. Monday is marriage counseling day. Monday, my husband and I go into another world. It feels decades removed from where we live today. The smell is musty like a morgue for dead marriages. Maybe some has survived, but I can’t get a comforting sense there’s been a lot of success in the room with opposing…

3… 2… 1… Reconciliation.

Three: A child, a mother, and a father are a family. The child, barely 4 years-old, can’t understand why their home is suddenly turned upside down, and shaken brutally like a snow globe. The white flakes covering each person. No one can walk comfortably or unscathed inside the bubble. Tip. Toe. Eggshell. There is sadness in their lives. It’s the…

High Tolerance

Klonopin Klonopin (clonazepam) is a benzodiazepine. Clonazepam affects chemicals in the brain that may be unbalanced. It began in the 7th grade with strep throat and high blood pressure. Doctors couldn’t figure out why  I had stroke level numbers every time they strapped the cuff to my arm. One even told my Mama how she must be getting me worked…

Faithful Whiskey Nights

I used to think men who drank whiskey or bourbon on the rocks had an alluring sex appeal. Their sips long and gentle. They never showed any wincing as the burn saturated their gullets.  In my mind, they compared to Rhett Butler and other southern gentlemen who retreated after their meals to rooms where they’d smoke cigars and talk politics.…

Blame Train Rolling Into The Station

I opened up. My body walked out on the public opinion ledge and stood fully naked in front of the stale popcorn eating crowd. I did my best to explain every detail with tears streaming down my face as I strung all the words together. When you tell the truth, people have some kind of gasoline-ignited burning desire to yell…

The Breaking News Featured On Scary Mommy

It started as a morning where I needed to write. My only way to vocalize the internal devastation began by typing my story onto the keyboard. Almost two months later, it still hurts. I still cry, not everyday anymore. From Huffington Post to Scary Mommy, please click to read: “I’m Heartbroken, But I Can’t Stay Married To A Serial Cheater”…

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